What good is there in this?

“this” refers to my SCA (Spinocerebellar Ataxia). I’d never ever wish this horrible disease on anyone (not even my worst enemy – actually I don’t have one) because its symptoms are really too terrible to deal with every day, at every moment, every second. 

ANYWAY. What good is there in this?

Right now, I can think of 3 things:

1)    CLOSER TO GOD

2)    CLOSER TO FAMILY

3)    CLOSER TO FRIENDS

They happen to be all Cs’!!! Recently I’ve also been thinking about the essential Cs’ in my life (quite far from the typical Singaporean’s Cash, Car, Condominium, Credit Card, Country Club – think maybe it should be a Career and/or Clever Children nowadays hahaha).

So, my five Cs’ are

Christ

Coffee

Curry/Chili

Chocolate

Connections (to people)

As I was saying (before I rudely interrupted myself), I’m definitely

1)    CLOSER TO GOD

There are a lot more pockets of free time where I can seek God, find Him & talk with Him. It’s certainly easier for me to fit God into an emptier schedule; daily bible reading combined with a regular feeding of Christian literature becomes very unrushed, ‘second-nature’ and comfortable. Not to mention it is often very enlightening, an encouragement to the heart and soul. This two-way relationship where He speaks to me as I listen & talk back 
is certainly being strengthened day after day.

2)    CLOSER TO FAMILY

I have two older brothers; my eldest brother is also struck with this disease and is currently living in a nursing home, my second brother is married to a very virtuous, respectable & nice woman I’d affectionately term as my SIL (sister-in-law). Oh, my father passed away when I was 10, my mother brought 3 of us up single-handedly.

I thought I was already very close to my Mom, at least that was years ago… 2009 to be exact, when we went on a family trip to Hong Kong (was together with my second brother & a pregnant SIL). See Mom & I:

Then my niece was born. Things changed. At least, that was how everything appeared to me. I found myself trying so hard to please Mom & earn her approval or gain some acknowledgement/recognition…

But as nothing seemed to be working, I began to accept that it would probably be impossible for me to regain my previous favoured position as her ONLY daughter and I backed away.

Fast forward years later, now with my SCA. Niece is much older (more matured, less affectionate).

I think Mom and I are still figuring out our roles (mother-daughter, caretaker-patient, fellow believers) and our daily interactions with each other on a 24-hour basis but I must say that we are currently building a well-weathered relationship through this ‘storm’.

3)    CLOSER TO FRIENDS

I believe it’s the same idea as having more time now to focus on building closer relationships. With this SCA, it becomes so much easier for me to discern who has been/will be a waste of my efforts and energy at strengthening our bonds and who will certainly stick around and be TOTALLY WORTH IT.

You’d know who you are if I’ve been “a bother” or I’ve bothered to be in your life (texting you quite a bit, be it serious conversations or random riddles/jokes/pun-ny stuff that classify as rubbish, sharing my favourite food, celebrating your birthdays, buying you gifts, inviting you over to my humble abode…)

YEAH YOU ARE IN MY INNER CIRCLE :)